For Such a Time as This

“And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?”

(Esther 4:14)

“For such a time as this you were born.”  Those were the lyrics to the first song playing on my new CD as I sank lower into the soothing warmth of the tub.  As I sat and listened to the lyrics, I began to cry.  As I soaked in the warmth of the bath I had drawn, I sobbed tears of pain, tears of grief, tears of relief, tears from depths of my soul that had never been touched until then.  Just before drawing the bath, I had looked in the mirror for the first time in days.  The woman in the mirror looked haggard, disheveled, weary, and years older than before.  That woman in the mirror was me, but it was not a picture of myself I had ever imagined seeing.  This was a self completely depleted, completely alone in the world, completely and utterly void of any human concerns for that moment in time. 

The above paragraph is something I wrote after the death of my first husband.  At just 31 years of age, I was a widow.  It was a time in my life that I practically stood outside my body looking at the events that had transpired.  God sustained me.  God provided.  God foreknew.  I knew at that moment that God would carry me through all things in life.  No matter how daunting the trials I would face, God would be there.  Today, I hold to that promise.  For such a time as this, God has been preparing me, pruning me and instructing me so that I would be ready for the task at hand.  Not so I am able to bear the burden alone, but so I know how to walk in solidarity with my savior knowing He is Lord.

Lord, help me to keep my focus entirely on You and not on the circumstances of my life.  I praise you for the assurance that you go before me in all things.