A Door of Hope

“Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.  There I will give her back her vineyards and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.”  (Hosea 2:14-15)

My family lived in Amarillo, Texas for a few years.  The dry, dusty land felt barren to me, and the lack of lush green landscapes to which I was accustomed in Tennessee left me feeling parched of spirit.  It was a desert of sorts for my family both literally and figuratively.  Being a caregiver can feel like such a desert.  It is a lonely place where only the ones who have walked a similar path can begin to comprehend the barrenness.  Only those who have been caregivers can grasp the weariness and starvation for fountains of fellowship that seem to dry up as life’s challenges intensify.  I realized in my desert that my fountain of fellowship was not with friends and family, but with God.  God had been alluring me.  God had led me into the desert to speak tenderly to me in ways that no friend or family member could.  God has made my Valley of Achor, that place of pain and loneliness, the door of my hope.  The question is not why you are in this place of pain and loneliness, but what hope is God giving you in the valley?  Only then can one find peace and comfort, not from man, but true peace and comfort from God.

Draw me near to you, Lord, to find my hope in you and my peace in you.  In You, alone, there are springs of peace and joy in all circumstances, in the driest of deserts.  You are there calling my name waiting to reveal these things to me.  Thank, you Lord Jesus.  I praise Your Holy Name!

Peace And Autism

“You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You.”  (Isaiah 26:3)

Living with autism may often seem unpredictable, or uncertain, if you will. Many children with autism have difficulty communicating their wants and needs, much less their feelings.  Some are even non-verbal which makes communicating all the more difficult, so the parent or caregiver must watch the child’s behavior which may often seem completely erratic.  If a child, disabled or not, wants your attention, that child will find a way to communicate his needs to you.  With severe autism, the child may strike the nearest person or throw something across the room.  When he is beyond frustrated and cannot communicate something to me, my child sometimes reaches what I call “the point of no return”.  At that point, helping my child to attain peace is not what gets me through these situations, it is God’s perfect peace as promised in Isaiah.

Perfect peace and autism may seem impossible to some.  Sensory struggles alone can cause such pain and agitation for our children that peace, yet alone perfect peace, seems insurmountable.  The child’s peace in the moment is not key; however, it is the parent’s ability to have peace in the moment while handling the situation.  And, yes, the good news is that perfect peace is attainable, especially when life’s challenges seem impossible. 

When I am at my wit’s end, my house is a wreck and my son is inconsolable, is when God steps in and says: “I’ve got this”.  How, one might ask?  The equation is simple.  Perfect peace only comes through complete submission to God and trust in God’s divine purpose amidst the struggles of the here and now.  I literally ask God to keep my eyes, heart and mind completely focused on Him and Him alone.  The key is to keep one’s focus on God and not the situation.  If there is no trust in God to give peace amidst the storm, there is no peace. Believe that God is who He says He is, and take refuge in His promises.  The next time you encounter a situation that appears to be completely out of control, call on God, claim His promises and trust Him to walk you through with a perfect peace that only He can give.

Lord, when things get tough, help me to keep my eyes focused on you alone.  When I am tempted to choose despair, pull me out by the promises you make in your Holy Word.  I praise Your holy name for the knowledge that You will never leave nor forsake me.  You are my refuge, my strength and my peace.

Planning for the Future

"Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow."(James 4:13-14)

One topic that consumes many parents of children with severe disabilities is the future care for their children.  For families of children who will need life-long care, the cost of that care beyond the parents’ lifespan is well into the millions.  Needless to say, the need to save and plan for our child’s future is always a thought tucked in the back of our minds.  Though my husband and I try to plan and forge a trajectory for our family’s future, we are also acutely aware that we are not completely in control. What we do know for certain is that if it is God’s will, we will be able to make future provisions for our son. 

So, what are parents to do if we do not know what will happen tomorrow?  We pray; we seek God’s will; and, we plan accordingly.  For instance, I know that if I do not begin focusing on my career outside the home, we will never meet our financial goals for our son’s future.  The uncertainty is that when I think I should reenter corporate America is not necessarily consistent with God’s plan for my family.  The key is to stay completely focused on God in prayer and scripture and to not become discouraged.  Isaiah 40:31 states: “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength”.  I have learned to keep my focus on God and not grow weary of the search process in knowing that God does have a plan beyond what my eyes can see. 

I have an all-time favorite sermon on cassette tape (yes, I said cassette tape) titled “He’s an On Time God”.  In uncertain times when God doesn’t seem to be bringing that job or that raise or that help you think you need in that moment, remember that God is always on time.  So as you try to make a plan for your child’s future, know that God will answer your prayers according to His plan for your family.  He is never late, but He’s always right on time.  You can count on it. 

Lord, help me to keep my eyes focused on you and your solutions to what I view as immediate needs.  Renew my strength, Lord, as I wait for your perfect timing in knowing that your best is so much greater than that for which I have planned.

A New Name

“The nations will see your righteousness, and all kings your glory; and you will be called by a new name which the mouth of the Lord will designate. You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God.” 
(Isaiah 62:2-3)

The trials you are experiencing today are making you into a crown of beauty and a royal diadem in the hand of the Lord.  Stop a moment and think about this concept.  What you are learning through the challenges you face today is making you into something precious and beautiful, of worth you cannot fathom.  This is how valuable you are to God, that he would use these trials to ready you to stand in His presence and receive a new name, a new inheritance.  You mean so much to God that he should want you to radiate His splendor.  I find peace and comfort in knowing I am so treasured.

Lord, in such a fallen world, it is a comfort to have a glimpse of how much You treasure me.  Bearing the wounds of childhood in a dysfunctional family wrought with generations of sin, I find peace in knowing I am part of a Royal Priesthood being readied to stand before you to receive a new heritage marked by a new name.  To You be the glory!

The Right Perspective

“And this is my prayer:  that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ.”  (Philippians 1:9-11)

I have discovered that through my own personal struggles in life, I have become much more sympathetic to others.  I often find myself praying for those whom I have never met.  It seems that God’s love is poured out from me as He molds me through each experience and as I learn to more readily put what may seem insurmountable to me at the moment into the hands of an Almighty God.  When I was younger, I would immediately go to my husband and/or call a friend for her perspective on things.  What I have realized over the years is that the only perspective I want or need amidst the darkness is God’s. In Paul’s prayer for the church at Philippi, he asks that the church’s love overflow as it grows in more knowledge and depth of insight into the character of God.  Are you allowing God to create something lovely in your life through your own challenges?  This is not an undertaking for you, but for God through the power of the Holy Spirit.  Lay your situation at the foot of God’s throne and ask Him to transform you as only He is able, so that you are filled with the fruit of His righteousness to overflowing.

Lord, please fill my heart with your perspective and my life to overflowing with your love so that when others see me amidst my struggles, they see you.  

No Worries

“The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them.  Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.”  (Psalm 34:7-8)

My son is non-verbal and cannot tell me what happens each day at school.  When schools are non-communicative and one’s child is undeniably upset at the end of a school day, a parent’s mind can run wild with fear-driven thoughts.  Rather than fear what may or may not happen at school, I have found that taking refuge in God’s word and His promises erases my earthly fears for my son.  God promises that His angels encamp around those who fear Him.  There have been many days that I have prayed for God to place angels around my son. When I pray this prayer, I am putting my fears of what others might do into God's hands; I am deliberately choosing to trade my stress and worry for God's peace.  

When you find yourself fearing what may or may not happen when you cannot be with your non-verbal child, have confidence that God encamps His angels around your child.  Pray this scripture confidently over your child, and rest in peace knowing that God loves you and your child so much that He assigns angels to protect you.  It’s a promise!

Lord, I pray with confidence that you encamp angels around Benjamin each day.  I delight in the knowledge that Your Word is Truth and that Your Word promises angels surround those who have faith in You.  I take refuge in You, Lord, for You are my strength. 

A Place for All Children

“So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table like one of the king’s sons.”  (2 Samuel 9:11)

Mephibosheth was the son of David’s best friend, Jonathan, and grandson to King Saul.  David had made a covenant with his friend Jonathan which extended to Jonathan’s descendants, as well.  In a covenant relationship, the two men pledged to protect and extend provision to one another and any of their descendants.  David loved Jonathan like a brother, and upon discovering Jonathan’s death, David searched for any surviving relatives.  Mephibosheth, Jonathan’s disabled son, is whom King David found.  David not only showed kindness to Mephibosheth, but he restored to his friend’s son all the land that belonged to his grandfather, King Saul, provided servants to work the land, and declared that Mephibosheth would always eat “at David’s table like one of the king’s sons”. 

This man who in that day and age would have been a beggar on the streets due to a physical disability was seated with honor at King David’s table as a royal heir to the covenant shared between his father and David.  This is a beautiful picture of how God views our special children who are often excluded from society.  Our children are to be seated with the King and treated as royalty, with honor and dignity.  God made a covenant with us through his son Jesus, and that covenant includes our children.  The church is to model this covenant and honor our children in seating them at the table with their typical peers.  For churches who claim to have a place for “all children”, I challenge you to make a place for your Mephibosheths.  Make them feel valued as co-heirs with Christ to the Royal Priesthood of Believers.  Then, and only then, are you truly a home for “all children” who live in your communities.

Lord, help our churches to prepare a place for all our children regardless of ability because we are all heirs through Christ Jesus to the mercy and grace you have provided to us as your covenant children.

Finding The Cure

“Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10)

Many parents of children with autism expend all their energy and their family’s limited resources chasing the latest and greatest “cure” for autism.  Many people in their search for “cures” miss the blessings along the way.  I am not suggesting that any mother in her right mind would not approach the throne of grace knowing what God can provide on her child’s behalf.  What I am suggesting is that many blessings are missed along the road to “correct” what some perceive as God’s mistake.  God’s blessings and lessons along the spectrum are God’s cures for everything that ails us.  Being still in the presence of a Holy Lord and asking him to reveal to us what He wants us to learn about His character through life’s hardships will bring more healing than any self-proclaimed cure this world has to offer.

Lord, help me to not lose sight of You and your blessings as we travel this spectrum called autism.  Help me to be still in your presence when I am feeling overwhelmed knowing that your healing is the greatest cure for what ails me.  I give my son to You this day, Lord, because he is Yours first, not mine.  I pray you show me those things hidden in secret places that only You know, Lord.  I know you have a plan for each of us, and I am choosing to be still today resting in the knowledge that there is no one, no physician, no therapist greater than you, Lord.  To You be the glory forever and ever.

A New Diagnosis

“So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.”  (Genesis 32:24)

A new autism diagnosis can leave a family reeling, not knowing which way to turn.  Some may wrestle with their faith wondering how a God who loves his children could allow any child to struggle.  Jacob wrestled with God, and he walked away with a limp as a constant reminder.  The limp was not God’s punishment to Jacob for wrestling with him but part of God’s blessing.  God allowed Jacob to overcome Him, but he left Jacob with a reminder of their encounter.  God blessed Jacob stating: “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome” (28).

I was at dinner with a fellow autism mom the other night, and she expressed to me that she is fearful of being angry at God.  I told this mom that she needed to confess her anger to God in prayer because God already knows her heart.  I told this mom that I, too, wrestled with God over my own child’s diagnosis and that I ultimately came full circle back to a stronger faith in the One who knew my pain before I even came to Him. 

Lord, give your children the confidence in your love to honestly bring their petitions to you in the name of your son, Jesus.  I pray your grace and sustaining love over any family feeling lost in the sea of a new diagnosis that they may come to a renewed strength in you by learning more of your character coming face to face with a God who has compassion on them.  

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”  (James 1:17)

All children are a gift, whether typical children or special kiddos.  Though my life may be ever changing with the peaks and valleys of raising my children, God never changes.  As I am continually challenged with the mountains my family may face daily, I take refuge in the knowledge that God is not only good and perfect, but he is a loving Father.  It is often said that children need consistency.  Isn’t it a comfort knowing that God’s goodness and his love for us will always be consistent no matter how deep the valley may seem?  Through the challenges of raising such a precious child, I have confidence in the fact that God is a constant on whom I can always rely to guide me along the way.

Father, thank you for the perfect gift of my son and for the knowledge that you are going to be with us every step along the spectrum called autism.  The love I have for my son is the perfect reminder of the love You have for me and just how unfathomable the depth of that love must be.